Here's Erica. Rebel Son brought her home with him for the weekend. I like surprises.

We did some arts and crafts, pushing cloves into oranges........... for decoration, and they smell great.
Her contribution.

Let's talk turkey and alienate every male reader of this blog. Oh, on that topic, I had to cringe the other day when I received a comment here from none other than, Beautiful Man!

Eeeegads, he found his way here, no doubt via that evil fucking Facebook. Hi BM !!! What do you think? Was I pretty accurate in my rendition of you? Take into account literary license and all, you know. I had to add the spice to make it tasty.

So back to that. I am cooking for Thanksgiving. My guests are people that don't have a dedicated place to go and it's an eclectic group! I don't know what or whom to expect. The big news is that Rebel Son is spending the holiday here, with me! Part of my busy is getting a room ready for him, which I should be doing now rather than this. So all this week, I'll be cooking and talking about it. Aren't you excited?? I have to finish gift boxes today. I mailed out everything that had to go Sunday night. Now I'll just make some to have on hand and spread the love to unsuspecting recipients.
So.... I'm getting to work on it all. Just stopped in to say,

Good Morning!

You know what really sucks about getting old? I can't cry anymore. Not that I don't have a whole lot of shit to cry about. I DO!

And I oh, so love a good cry. But if I indulge myself in this soul cleansing ritual, I'll wake up with swollen eyes that now takes two days to recover from. Even Preparation H can't erase the damage anymore. I was never one to worry about old because, well hell, I'm not! But the aging process has really been accelerated in the past few months and I am now stunned by the image in my mirror......

This all stems from events of the night that I will now back up and tell you about.

My cell phone rings and there he is, calling me, after all of this silence. It's his birthday, so what am I supposed to do? I picked up that phone cause I can't fight it anymore. Garth had a show tonight, tonight was his birthday and he had a show.... he needed me. Would I come? My inner voice and the one I will have to hear from Mel almost made the right decision.

Of course I went.

The Comedy Spot was in Old Town Scottsdale right next to the Andy Warhol Gallery. Greg, my new escort to all of these events, loved the whole atmosphere. We strolled and window shopped the galleries on the way to the club. Garth was walking past on the other side of the street. I yelled to him. Awkward interrupted our hug but not how good it felt. I wore that cheesy smile the rest of the night.

Garth sucked on stage tonight, but it really didn't matter. The whole show was bad for the most part. Some comedian had not shown up so everyone else had to extend their set by like 10 minutes, which is a lifetime on stage when you were just prepared for eight. But the venue was so small, it just became a dialog with the audience for the most part. It lapsed into a really good show somewhere along the way.

I said goodbye to him on the same street where we had said hello hours earlier. He walked me to my truck that was parked in front of the Gilbert Ortega Gallery. I had packaged up the remnants of our time together to be returned to him in a Macy's bag, along with his birthday gift. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. Choking back what I wanted to say, I kissed him, said "Happy Birthday" instead. His face broke into a slow and lopsided grin and we stood there, two people sharing a common thread, two souls, one common heart if only for an instant. And then he was gone.

Standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom of some bar tonight, she looked back at an aging woman with deeply sad eyes. Thin pale lips smiled back at her in the bathroom mirror. Her hair is now the length of a crew cut and a color she has not worn before in this lifetime. The bald patches can still be covered but she wonders how far pride is going to keep her struggling with it. She's been faking too many smiles in recent months. She's been grinning-and-bearing far more than her soul would prefer. She has lost track of what she looks like in the outward sense of things and has gone on this rather inward, Rip-Van-Winkle journey. Perhaps she woke up a little tonight?

She takes a deep breath while washing her hands...

...and begins to ponder that it might be best to stop writing about herself in the third person and get some rest.

WOW holidays again? Already? I am looking forward to them this year with renewed enthusiasm. The difference? I don't know for sure. Maybe it's the fact that my brother is living here and the house has come back to life. Or that I am so grateful to still be here typing away, despite the steep challenges I have been navigating. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm hanging on to the hope that my walk through this valley is almost over and there are certainly peaks in my near future. I am looking forward, simply because of the vertigo I'd feel if I allow my brain to even consider the whirlwind of this past year.

For today, I'm putting my myriad of worries on a back shelf. I have gift boxes to make for Thanksgiving and I need to post those that are going to far flung friends. I'm happy about the hustle and bustle that I have on tap this week. Busy feels good. Things will work out. The glass is always half full, even if you decide to pour it all out and hang on to the limbo of hope...hoping that what comes next might not be so bitter.

Peace

Greg and I attended the Arizona West Valley Artists Exhibition last night. I rubbed some important elbows by just acting like I was somebody and carrying a big camera. So since I've been hiding behind it quite a bit lately, here's our night as seen from my lens.

Random folk in the wine and cheese line with me right behind them.

This kid just offered a perfect photo opportunity

We ended the night at Tutti Santi's even though their prices are just stupid. I complained to the first person that would listen that I love this place but they have priced me out of their league. I was told they just changed the menu and have indeed lowered the obnoxious prices.

I just got an email from a potential suiter delivered to me via Match dot, come on............... Here's how he described himself:

If you like to ride ,I would love to have some one riding on the back with me. Don't worry you won't fall off that's why I carry duct tape, rope and some tie downs. If your not in to rope and duct tape you can always hold on to me. its Ok to smile when on a bike, Eating bugs is just part of the good life. .But , then, I have been known to duck, Watching a good movie, eating popcorn, holding hands, looking in to your eyes ,wondering what the heck your thinking, If we could read minds , we wouldn't need to talk , so that would leaves more time for making out, only if you liked to KISS .boy I sure do, when not making out ,we could go out to dinner shoot some pool , slow dance go away for the week end, ( other than my bike, I drive a ford expedition), I'd even do some of the driving, If you were the type of woman ,that had to drive ,I'm Ok just sitting in the front seat looking acting like I'm interested in what your talking about, Hell I'd even run around and open your door. as long as its fun for both I'm open to it. What the Hell, I like to think I'm laid back , easy going and take life with a smile...... I'm somewhat Shy , left handed and have a gentle touch. , god knew what he was doing when it comes to women , a relationship is based on trust ,understanding, respect, and self worth, Have Faith Baby, I also enjoy any and all outdoors Activities. I do give lots of BONUS points if you dream of or have Been to ALASKA. Mom once told me, Terry a good man is a man that works and knows how to do every thing (that would be me),So I said to Mom, A good womans, a good woman..No it's not a myth, there still are good men (like me) in this world. Some food for thought. Do Princess really Kiss Toads. If men are toads, does that make women frogs . I like Frogs they're Pretty,. THE END..

I didn't edit a damn word of this essay. But like you, just sat aghast at the dumbing down of America.

I wonder if I should complain for awhile because I am feeling better and who better to dump on than you. My litnany of complaints has not changed so you can just recycle my past bullshit. But I have a better attitude, I keep telling myself. The proverbial bootstraps are in sight.... any day now.

Goodnight Sunday